top of page

When You Just Don't Agree, Be Gentle

Updated: May 21, 2022

Yes, there is a lot happening. You might feel the urge to proselytize and indoctrinate your friends on your theories because you care and want to keep them safe, but... Don’t.

Do not.

Instead, have a real dialogue. If you have different ideas, see if you can share them in a way that won’t be immediately offensive and feel like an act of war to your beloved. Many of the videos and meme-posts currently online have a lot of belief-shaming and mental yelling, so you may want to look carefully at what you’re sending to see whether it will actually convey what you believe, vs inflaming or rejecting others.

Also, be willing to listen. If you can’t get beyond their rhetoric, or it’s so upsetting that you can’t focus it’s okay to excuse yourself from the conversation for another time when you’re more prepared. Otherwise, be willing to listen more deeply, beneath words, to what your friends believe on a personal level, and how those beliefs are shaping their actions. You may not agree with them, but you might be surprised by what you find.

Keep an eye out on the vibes. If the tone of the conversation feels defensive, angry, or hurt, it’s likely that one (or both) of you is emotionally triggered.

Once your emotional body is lit, reason will not work. So the discussion has to make sense on an emotional level, or it will devolve into an ego battle.

Ask yourself if your aim is to convert your loved ones, or to connect with them, in love? That aim may be different at any given time. While there is a place for conversion, most people will resist the moment they feel you negating their belief system, unless they have given you permission to engage with them on that level.

For many, their deeply held beliefs or world view are just as personal to them as their physical body and personal space. Be gentle, friends.



9 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page