Updated: May 21, 2022
If you are comfortable with giving in a relationship but you refuse to receive, you are not really creating a relationship. One-sided giving or one-sided receiving creates an imbalance.
Maybe you are used to being a giver because of how you grew up—it’s common for healers and creatives to feel affirmed in their identity when they’re giving their creations to the world, or caretaking for others. However, it is in receiving that you truly come to know others. It is through receiving that you allow the world around you to also nourish and heal you.
If you are not used to giving, and you are terrified of opening to give, so you tend to withhold affection, withhold deeper interaction, withhold attention to others, allow yourself to sit with an inner reflection for why you do that. Allow yourself compassion to heal and shift that narrative. You might need to erect new, more strict boundaries around your time or energy so that you can give freely and know also that it is safe for you not to give at times.
If you are not used to receiving, and you’re terrified to accept kindnesses, accept gifts, or accept love from others, then give yourself space and time to feel into what frightens you. Perhaps in your past, material gifts or gifts of attention were used to manipulate or hurt you. You may need to face and heal those patterns, to truly receive in the present. Understand that you always have a choice about what to receive and what to reject. Give yourself permission to receive, understanding that you always have choices around your responses. In relationships, you can define the terms of your giving and taking with the other party so that it feels safe.
Relationships are about relating. If you hide who you really are, or you stop the flow of giving, or of receiving, then ultimately the relationship will wane—because there is no longer relating. At that point, it becomes a one-man show.
Think of your most nurturing relationships—I bet you they work because (a) you both have a clear understanding of the rules of how you relate and (b) you both give and receive in the relationship in fairly equal balance, even if it is in different ways.
If you have a relationship with someone that feels challenging or uncomfortable, look at your giving and receiving. What tiny shift can make it stronger?￼
❤️🔥 Xoxo Dailey
DAILEY LITTLE is a healing practitioner, transformational life coach, ordained Priestess, and teacher who founded Healing Heart Reiki to help others navigate life with joy. She teaches classes in healing and mindset from a magical peaceful corner of the world in Northern California. For more info see: www.SantaRosaReiki.com