Updated: May 21, 2022
Being sensitive to the world isn’t a bad thing. If you tend to tap into other peoples’ vibes really easily, it can help you to become more compassionate and wise. But you also have to learn how NOT to tap into others’ feelings, and how NOT to take on the problems and issues of the world as your own when it’s not appropriate, or when it’s overwhelming. Otherwise your sensitivity can become a drag.
Here are some examples of what can happen when you're sensitive but not aware, or not in the driver's seat:
🌺 You know what your loved ones want/need so much that it feels SUPER important to you...but you don’t know what YOU want. And sometimes when you do know, you can’t put it into words because it feels so much less critical.
🌺 You feel the anger, desire, or sadness of others so intensely you feel overly distressed. Their emotions--even if they are holding them back or suppressing them--feel like a tidal wave and you have a hard time thinking clearly around the emotional piece.
🌺 You're in a good space but then because of a brief interaction with someone who isn’t, you go along your way having inherited their funky mood or vibe. You just assume your mood nose-dived for no reason, but in fact the mood shifted after that single conversation, or quiet moment with the other person (because you are absorbing their mood as your own).
🌺 You know things that are going to happen (as in premonition or psychic vision) but you feel powerless and/or scared to change the outcome.
🌺 You may be so used to merging with others, that you only feel great when you’re with them, and horrible when you’re alone—even when having that space is something you need or want.
All of these examples are things that can happen when you’re sensitive, psychic, or empathic. But dealing with this kind of bs is NOT the way to spend your life. How do you change this way of moving in the world? You learn to structure your awareness and reactions differently. This begins with boundaries.
BOUNDARIES IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD
Learning healthy boundaries will help you create the space necessary to heal these imbalances so that you can either NOT be so sensitive, OR direct that sensitivity in the right way, to the benefit of all.
Many of us are only used to having to set boundaries when something has gone really, really wrong. Because of that, "boundaries" feels like a bad word. We instantly feel that if we're setting a boundary, it means that either WE are bad, or the other person is bad. As you can see, this doesn't work. What if your best friend asks you to go out and you're too tired? If you see boundaries as a bad thing, then you may feel bad for saying no. Or you might get angry at them, saying, "How dare they ask me to go out NOW, when they know how busy my life is right now?!" In truth, neither person is bad; it's a good thing to express where your limits and needs are.
A boundary is an expression of your truth that allows you to protect the peace, beauty, and sanctity of your life. Boundaries are not bad, and you are not a bad person if you need to state them. By removing the emotional charge and personal judgement from this process, you will experience inner freedom.
Healthy Boundaries in the physical world are created when you express your truths, needs, and follow that up with action. For example if you want to develop healthier relationships, you might make a decision about what you will no longer allow in your relationships that doesn't feel good. Then you must follow that up with solid action. Without action it is not a boundary, it’s just an idea.
In the example of healthier relationships, if you have decided that you will no longer allow toxic people into your personal space, then you have to be willing to turn them away at the door, or to walk away yourself if you've put yourself in a compromising situation. Sometimes it feels scary to say how you feel to others, out loud, knowing it may not be received well. However, your well being is at play. Are you willing to work on finding your voice so that you can be a divine protector of this very special life--YOUR life?
You can also set mental boundaries for yourself. You can decide, for example, that you will not dwell on thoughts that are mean or victimized. But then you must follow that up with action. In this case the action would be training yourself to turn away from the thought. Many cultures have traditionally done this through meditation and mindfulness. The greatest key to changing these shifts in mindset is to practice making them multiple times. That's why we call meditation and mindfulness a 'practice.'
It's okay if you are just beginning, or you don't know where to start. It's okay if you sometimes forget that you've set new boundaries around how you think and perceive; with consistent practice, you will become stronger and more clear in who you are, and in the joy you emanate in the world.
I was going to talk about psychic boundaries next, as these are incredibly important for psychics, empaths, and highly sensitive people. Ironically, it's also the thing that is least discussed in classes on psychic and intuitive development. But I think it may require it's own article...
Do you want to hear more? Let me know!
DAILEY LITTLE is a healing practitioner, Ordained Priestess, and Teacher who founded HEALING HEART REIKI to help others navigate life with joy. She teaches classes in Reiki, Goddess Mysteries, Shamanism, and Ancient Egyptian Metaphysics from a magical, peaceful corner of the world in Northern California. For more info see: www.SantaRosaReiki.com