Healing DV And Resources

5 days ago
3 min read

Domestic violence doesn’t always look the way we expect. Sometimes it hides in plain sight. I’ve had friends I loved deeply who were being abused, and I didn’t see it.

1 in 3 women are abused. 1 in 4 men are abused. That’s part of why I’m writing this.... Whether you’re in it, near it, or trying to understand it, please read onto learn about available resources.

Putting an end to domestic violence requires all of us. You may not need these resources but your friends or colleagues might. Read on...

Global healing begins in our own homes.

Are you a victim of domestic violence? It might be harder to answer than you think. If you’re afraid in your own home, or feel like your sense of safety is always shrinking, this may apply to you.

Domestic abuse and violence take many forms, not just physical or verbal. Abuse could be psychological. It could be financial.

People are often afraid to address abuse when children are involved because of fear around what will happen with the children. These are heavy decisions that should be made with support, kindness, and love to help those who are being (or have been) abused. You don't need to make decisions or work through all of this alone.

A survivor once shared something that stuck with me for years... "The best step you can make is the step out of the door. It is also the hardest. You don't know if you're doing the right thing. You don't know if you'll survive. But to stay is surely a slow death. Is this what you were put on the earth for?"

No, you were made for more than surviving. But interestingly victims of abuse have often been made to feel ashamed. You do not have to be ashamed. Abuse is common, and is not a reflection of your worth, or your ability. Learning more will help you heal.

Even if you're not sure what to do--or even if you have no intention of leaving your situation, you can do the following things right now for your own long-term safety and well-being:

1. Research the exact meaning and definition of abuse.

If you’re worried about searching at home, try doing this from a safe place like a library or coffee shop with Wi-Fi. Learn what abuse really means: emotionally, verbally, financially, and physically. It may surprise you.

If you do this research at home, always clear your history, data cache, and cookies. Ask whatever questions are on your mind... Does it count if your abuser only hit you once? Does it count if you provoked them? Does it count if nobody saw it and you didn't report it? Does it count if there is nothing physical, and it's just a lot of screaming and crying? For your own safety, learn the answers to these questions.

2. Save important numbers on auto dial, right now.

Most phones now include 9-1-1 automatically, but also include the local police department number, your nearest hospital, as well as the number for the Sonoma County Sheriff into your phone: 707-565-2121. Save these in your phone under practical nicknames you’ll remember. Crisis makes clear thinking hard, so do this now while you’re calm.

3. Review the following list of links (see below).

Education is your best weapon. Courage takes time to develop when your self-esteem is being pummeled.

4. Receive free energy healing.

If you are struggling to heal the emotional stress of being abused at home, work, or anywhere else, please set up an appointment for free Reiki healing through our Reiki Share on the first Saturday of the month.

5. You are not alone.

Even starting by reading this, is a step. Find your breath. Ask a question. One small act of awareness leads to the next. When people are abused they will often self-isolate from shame or depression. In some cases their abuser may also intentionally create isolation as a means of control. Because of this, it's really important to stay connected and to make space for friendship, and for others who are not involved in the abuse dynamic. This can be challenging, but it can make a huge difference in healing.

Thank you for reading along this article. Please take a look at the links below, feel free to share this page, and please feel free to reach out to me if any of them stop working. Thank you!